The Hair Salon

I had my first appointment with my new hair stylist this weekend. She does fabulous work and I’m excited about our new “hairationship.” Like the barber shop, the hair salon is a place where women let it all hang out in their appearance and their words. We tackle broad and diverse topics like men, relationships, family drama, work, politics, music, and fashion. Since my stylist and I were meeting for the first time, we quickly discovered we had one thing in common: we are both single in the city. This one thing dominated our conversation for the majority of the three hours it took for me to get my hair “did.” Like myself, my stylist is on the fast track to thirty. I call it the fast track because it seems that each year goes by in about the time it takes to blink an eye. Not because I’m rushing it. My stylist seemed to be dealing with some the same issues I am. She feels like she is ready to settle down, but her experiences with dating have left her thinking that maybe she should just accept that she will forever be single. However, she wants to eventually have a family and she has always envisioned marriage as a part of her future. We found ourselves comparing notes just to see if maybe we were single because our expectations were too high. She listed her desires for an ideal mate and I shared mine. Thinking back on our conversation, I realize that there is no such thing as having expectations that are too high. Unrealistic, maybe. But ultimately I believe agreeing or even considering the fact that your expectations are too high leads to settling. This isn’t somewhere we as single women should be comparing notes. We all need something different in a mate who will compliment who we are. Some need more than others to balance out a relationship. I can’t judge what expectations are too high for another woman because only that woman knows what she needs and why. Me telling another woman her expectations were too high could lead to her lowering her expectations, settling for a man who doesn’t compliment her, or giving up and deciding marriage might not be for her. Honestly, there are only a few close friends who I know well enough to give that kind of advice to. My hair stylist is not one of them.

Marriage isn’t for everyone, but don’t let bad experiences or impatience force you to decide you are not the marrying type or lower your standards.

I am,

Single in Atl